Kathi and I have been married over 30 years as I write this. We will always remember how early on we learned to compromise when we came upon an area that we disagreed on. As Christ followers we knew right off that marriage is God's idea, and if we want a successful, holy, and happy marriage then we would need to learn how God wants it lived and live it that way.
Here are some things my wonderful spouse and I have learned together. 1) Marriage is a Covenant. A covenant is more than a contract, it is a strong agreement based on 2 things; trust and vows. Today people create contracts to build businesses, get new clients, etc... and many people see marriage as no more than a contract just made to be broken.
There is a big difference between a contract and a covenant. A contract is based on mutual distrust... A Marriage Covenant is based on mutual commitment! Also the Marriage Covenant is a union based upon conditions and the conditions are the Vows that are agreed upon before the marriage takes place...
I think I will write some more later about 4 non negotiable Vows that will make your marriage everything that God would want it to be...
But let me tell you about Mayonnaise and the Miracle Whip. I love Miracle Whip dressing on my sandwich's and do not care a bit for mayonnaise; but on the other hand Kathi loves mayonnaise and not the good stuff Miracle Whip. When we first got married we were limited in our income including our grocery shopping, so we compromised. One shopping trip we would buy Mayonnaise and everyone ate it and the next time we bought Miracle Whip and everyone ate it... And that's the way it went... all though our marriage we found ways to work things out because we knew we were committed to our Covenant of Marriage! I know that it may seem like no big deal compromising when it comes to sandwich spread, but if you can decide on the principle it will work on any challenge you face in your marriage... BTW, Today God has blessed Kathi's and my marriage and finances, so we buy both... no more compromise needed here...LOL!
Successful marriages are not those that don't face challenges, problems, or shortcomings. No, the difference between successful and unsuccessful marriages are how you decide to deal with them! Blessings to you, Karl
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Friday, May 13, 2011
A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. John 13:34
In this verse of scripture Jesus identifies love as a verb, not a noun. There are some big differences between feeling love and doing love? When it comes to marriage and relationship commitments a lot of folks are looking for the feeling part, but don't realize there is a doing part also!
Do you realize there are over 1,500 matchmaking organizations in the USA? I think it's great all the folks looking for love, but why such a demand? I think it has a lot to do with commitment in a relationship and what that takes vs the cultural idea of the easiness of falling in and out of love!
Falling in love is easy. Staying in love, being committed to each other, is a bit more difficult. Ever wonder if there are people that can actually stay together for good and still be in love? Is it even possible for two people to stay happy together forever? Not only to I believe it's possible, I know it is! My wife Kathi and myself, among other couples we know, really do live loving, lasting, happy marriages, even after 30 years... I joke sometimes telling people that married to Kathi for 30 years have given us 10 of the happiest years of her life! Hahaha! But the serious truth is that it doesn't come without work... or commitment... or time... or understanding! Have we ever had misunderstandings in our marriage? Of course Kathi has... (sorry, joking...) But she will tell you the same thing, that we on purpose are committed to our marriage and so we do what is necessary for it to bloom. But no matter how hard the work or the adjustments you make for your marriage, the benefits far outweigh them!
I think one of the big keys to staying in love is not finding the right person, but finding someone who is committed to becoming the right person while you work to become the right person!
If you're looking for THAT someone; then look for someone who is not afraid to put you first while you overcome your fear of putting him or her first.
If you're married, think about a step or two you can take this week to proactively love your spouse rather than reacting to what they do or don't do for you? If you're just starting to look for someone, look for someone that is not afraid to commit to developing their love walk for you.
Remember it’s about making love a verb!
Peace and Blessings friends, Karl